26 September 2014
A Heartbreak That Will Never Heal
I’ve heard someone say once before, that “you don’t know how strong you are until it is your only choice”. This quote, for me, is something that I can relate to very heavily. When life throws you a curveball you have to deal with it some way no matter what, it is just your choice the way that you handle it. Just about under six months ago, I lost my best friend, role model, and grandmother extremely unexpectedly.
On the morning of April 8th, 2014 around 4am, I was all cozy in bed sound asleep until I woke up extremely abruptly but fell right back asleep because I didn’t think anything of it. Then, around 5:30 the phone rang. Who’s calling? I thought. It’s April, so its not the school calling a snow day. Being the heaviest sleeper in the world, all I cared about was going back to sleep. I pulled the covers over my head and fell asleep longer than I had anticipated.
My dad, since kindergarten woke me up every single day for school. It took at least 6 or 7 times of him running up and down the stairs every morning telling me to wake up until I finally did so. I was glued to my bed every single morning and hated getting up, in the cold, to drive to school and listen to a bunch of things I had been learning since the seventh grade. On the morning of April 8th, I woke up by myself late of course, and half asleep I began to run around my room and try to get ready wondering where in the world my dad was. Sitting down in my desk chair, trying to straighten my hair as fast as I could, continually burning myself with my flat iron, my mom walked into my room. She looked like was about to throw up, but something more horrific came out instead of vomit. “Nannan passed away” she said. I didn’t cry, nor did I ask
why. I simply finished getting ready and left for school. The whole way there felt like a endless road with nothing but a white sky, grey trees, and grey houses all around me. I had no idea how to feel. I didn’t know how to swallow it.
The first death I ever had to experience was easily the worst one I ever will have to. All growing up in school I was taught how to spell, multiply, and read but I was never taught how to react when those dark words had to come out of my mother’s mouth. I’ve been through heartbreak, but this was different. She was gone, there was no hope I’d ever see her again. I wasn’t prepared for a life without my grandmothers guidance. Ever since I was little, my grandmother taught me everything. Everything about life, everything I would ever need to know and everything I didn’t need to know. She was extremely blunt and always let everyone know where they stood with her. Without a solid mother figure in my life, it was extremely hard for me to grow up without that. She always filled that spot in my heart and I will always think of her as the most important impact on the person that I am today.
One of my favorite traits about my grandma was that she could see right through your anyone. She spotted out my bad friends…